corn on the corn

The only thing holding the whole family back from having a nice, cool, frozen dessert out on the float is finishing dinner. The parents are excited. The kids are excited.

Dinner is served.

Kid2 immediately starts crying hysterically.

Kid2: (unintelligible crying)
Dad: Kid2, you need to take a deep breath. Stop crying. And use your words please.
Kid2: (unintelligible crying)

This went on for about 5 more minutes, before we got it out.

Kid2: (while still sobbing egregiously) I WANT THE CORN ON THE CORN!
Dad: Kid2, it was frozen corn, from a bag. It was never on the cob.

We showed Kid2 the empty bag. We said we would buy corn on the cob this week for dinner.

Commence crying for another 10 full minutes.

Kid2: BUT I WANT THE CORN ON THE CORN!

said on July 28, 2018

ask nicely

Kid2 has gotten down from the dinner table to go briefly play with toys three times already. Dad is finally putting a stop to it. He grabs her and puts her firmly back in her chair.

Dad: It is time to stop getting down from the dinner table. Now sit down and eat your dinner.
Kid2: Ask nicely!

Dad takes a deep breath. Patience have thoroughly been tested. But Kid1 does this as a last ditch effort to “get his way”, so clearly this is Kid2 copying, but will also listen after getting her last dig in. Reluctantly, hoping she’ll cooperate.

Dad: OK. Please! Will you sit nicely and eat your dinner?
Kid2: NO!

said on March 22, 2018

not batman

Kid2 puts on Batman cape and runs up to Grammie.

Grammie: Hi Batman!
Kid2: I not batman. I Kid2. I just have cape on.

said on February 27, 2018

make your bed?

Kid1: Dad, can you please put my book back in the blue chair? I like to keep my room tidy.
Dad: I know you do. That is great. I love that about you. I also like to keep my things tidy.
Kid1: Do you think maybe you should make your bed then tomorrow?

said on February 27, 2018

right in the middle

Kid1 is jumping in the bathtub after being told not to jump in the bathtub. He falls on a plastic, swimming duck and starts to cry.

Kid1: Mommy, I fell. Can you kiss it?

Kid1 then hangs his behind over the side of the tub. Mommy, while laughing, kisses his hip.

Mommy: All better.
Kid1: (still crying) No! Kiss it where it hurts, right in the middle, where the poop comes out.

Commence uncontrollable laughter.

The crying has subsided. Kid1 picks up the duck.

Kid1: I must have fallen right on the bill.

said on March 10, 2017